We
are a very independent "breed" of families. Most spouses of
military members I know can confidently do just about anything
change a tire, hang Christmas lights, "deal with" a car mechanic
or recalcitrant teenager, cook chili for 50 troops coming in from the
field, direct the activities of packers who could care less that "this
was my mother's china be careful with it!" some of
those things all at once! We tend to not ask for help at least
not of anyone outside of our corps group of friends and peers. Yet we
do need help, particularly during these times of extended separations
due to our war of global terrorism efforts. Many of our neighbors and
community members are looking for ways to help. The National Military
Association has many helpful, practical, no-cost suggestions, some of
which are listed below. But, for more, go to their website at: http://www.nmfa.org.
If you are a neighbor to a military family, check in periodically.
The answer to your offer to help rake leaves or wash the car might always
be "no thank you," but that will not diminish their appreciation
for your offer.
If your child's friends parent is deployed, encourage your
child to invite the friend along on family outings. He's missing his
dad or she's missing her mom you won't be a substitute, but you
will sure help fill a void.
Become a secret pal. Leave your military neighbor a baked good, a
thank you note, a plant get your children in on the act. They'll
love sneaking up to the porch to leave a surprise!
Due to heightened security on military installations, access to services
that normally need volunteers is severely limited. Unless you are sponsored
by a military member or dependent, you will not be able to volunteer
on base. But military families are very active in their communities
and they traditionally form strong friendships that are long-lasting
even after they move your local church, school, YMCA, community
center may very well have planned activities that directly support military
families or can put you in touch with military families or organizations
needing help. Check out the community calendar.
As important as tangible support can
be, the intangible gift of gratitude is the most significant thing you
can give the military member and his or her family. Regardless of your
view of military actions, it is incredibly important to our service
members to hear that you appreciate their service to our country. That
is really all the help they really need.
Judy Morrow is an analyst and writer, employed
at Edwards Air Force Base in California. She has more than 25 years of
volunteer experience and 5 years experience as Installation Volunteer
Coordinator and Relocation Assistance Manager. She also does consulting,
writing and workshop presentations. To contact Judy, email her at: Judy.Morrow@edwards.af.mil.